Physical limitations. They are more than just painful ailments, they start to affect the mind and spirit. It is hard to deal with our physical limitations, especially when our minds our telling us we should be able to do more, or feel ashamed for not being able to carry out simple tasks without feeling worn out.
I have always been a very active person. I’ve spent countless hours outdoors, in physical activity. And then, after the birth of my third child, something was different. I expected the weeks and months afterwards would be a slow process of getting back to normal, like the other two pregnancies had been. And yet, it did not go back to what I considered was normal for my body. Even though I started eating healthier, and was walking over an hour a day, I gained another 20 pounds since post-birth. I also had extreme fatigue, which made doing anything very difficult. My thyroid was tested, since pregnancy can affect some mother’s thyroid and cause unexplained weight gain, but came back normal. I had other symptoms that I could not explain, like tingling in both my hands and feet, and almost complete memory loss. I knew something was wrong inside my body, I could feel it with every inch of my being. I went to different doctors, trying to find some explanation for what I felt, and they each ran their own tests. When they came back normal, the doctors would simply say that they did not detect anything and that was it. No further tests were run. They did not actually listen to me, as the patient, saying something is wrong. This went on for about a year, before I finally found a doctor that truly heard me out and was committed to finding the root of my issues. Just by listening to my symptoms, she realized I had an autoimmune disorder, it was just a matter of trying to figure out which one. I was elated, to finally have a doctor I could put my trust in, and to finally be on a path to having answers. And I was proud of myself for not giving up on myself. If I had listened to those first doctors, who basically told me nothing was wrong and that I was fine, I would still be at home, in pain, thinking this is just something I have to live with. After doing blood work, I was told I had Lyme disease. I was put on short and long term medication, which has been a great help, although I am still not back to being pain and symptom free. I recently just had to change one of the medications because for the past four months, I had been throwing up in the middle of the night, almost every night. This affected my emotional wellbeing because of the lack of sleep. I would try so hard to not let my emotions get the best of me, but when I am in so much physical distress, it is hard to stay balanced and calm. It was hard falling behind on my household duties, and not being able to do fun things with my children, but I just physically couldn’t.
I am also trying to do everything I can holistically, to be healthy.